Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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