Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
