those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
