oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
