I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.