I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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