i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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