Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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