i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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