then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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