Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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