she was so not down for the gang bang
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
