Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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