well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
