hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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