it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
