i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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