U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
