I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
