so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
