ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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