i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined the universe
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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