Jerry, you need to find god
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
