I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
