Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Green mimosas i think yes
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
