The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
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I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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