using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
