I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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