You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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