This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
