Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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