It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
