so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
