you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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