Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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