So drunk, too bad you don't want this
high people should be assigned attendants
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
