I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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