I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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