arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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