just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
