Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
