I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
