I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
