we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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