And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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