I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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