Whod you bang
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
