i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
