Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
