How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
