my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
