somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
