Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The Olympian is in my bed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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