...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Terrible idea I love it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
