Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
