In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
