My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
