I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
