If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
