My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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