We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.